Dealing with Distress: A Personal Journey of Healing and Hope

Dealing with Distress: A Personal Journey of Healing and Hope

Distress is something I’ve been reflecting on deeply, especially given my experience working with people facing some of life’s toughest challenges—suicidal ideation, homelessness, addiction, and major trauma. Toward the end of 2023, I found myself in a difficult place professionally. I was working in an institution without the proper safeguards—no pastoral supervision, no debriefing, no frameworks to support me. I was so focused on helping those in need that I neglected to put myself first.

If I were a lawyer, my duty would be first to the court, then to my client, and finally to myself. But in chaplaincy, I was putting my charge first and myself last. This imbalance took a toll.

Chaplaincy has always interested me. In my last book, I wrote about Richard Johnson, the first Anglican chaplain and preacher in Australia. His example reminds me of the importance of spiritual care, but also the need for self-care.

Recently, people have asked me how I deal with distress. There’s no easy answer, but I want to share what has worked for me, knowing that everyone’s journey is different. The first step was taking stock of my life and simply stopping. I had to take myself out of the playing field, so to speak, to reflect and practice introspection—one of the greatest gifts, though often hard to access when you’re impaired.

I realized that my difficulties stemmed from complex PTSD (C-PTSD), which I developed through my work in the church. This caused challenges with emotional regulation, interpersonal relationships, and self-identity. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is designed to help with intense emotions and self-destructive behaviors, which are often present in complex PTSD.

• Emotional dysregulation: Intense, overwhelming emotions that are hard to manage.
• Interpersonal difficulties: Problems with trust, boundaries, and maintaining relationships.
• Negative self-concept: Feelings of worthlessness or shame.
• Trauma-related symptoms: Flashbacks, dissociation, hypervigilance.
• Self-harm or suicidal thoughts: DBT targets these behaviors with specific skills.

DBT focuses on building skills in mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. These skills have been invaluable in managing my symptoms.

I recently completed training for an introductory DBT group program called Dealing with Distress. This program introduces core DBT principles and skills, including Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Distress Tolerance, and Emotion Regulation. It’s a great starting point for anyone interested in DBT or needing foundational skills before committing to a longer program.

For trauma-related symptoms, I found Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy to be very effective. EMDR helps process traumatic memories and reduce their emotional impact. It’s primarily used for PTSD but can also help with anxiety, phobias, and other conditions related to past trauma.

Having a good psychologist to check in with regularly has made all the difference. I continue to work through my healing journey with patience and support. By the grace of God, I feel restored. They say trauma never leaves you; you just learn how to deal with it. And with patience, support, and faith, healing becomes not just possible, but a journey of renewed hope and strength. I hope that by sharing my story, you find encouragement and strength—whether you’re seeking help now or simply walking alongside someone who is.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
— Psalm 147:3

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A Prayer for Those in Distress

Loving God, for all who are hurting, lost, or overwhelmed, we ask for your comfort and peace. May those who are struggling find the help and hope they need. Guide them to the right people, resources, and support. Bring healing to their hearts and minds, and remind them they are never alone. Amen.

If you would like others to pray for you, or if you have a prayer to share, you’re invited to post on our community Prayer Wall.

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